Wife:
Janu kash ap SMS hote.
Mai ap ko save karti,

Husband:
Jaan-e-man, kash tm ringtone hoti,
Mai her haftay tumhe change karta

Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife ne pucha,Kaun Thi Wo?

Husband:-Tm dimagh kharab mat karo,
mai pehle hi pareshan hu k woh bhi Yehi puche gi.

Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
Mai bolta tha wo sunti thi,

Phir woh meri mangetr bani,
Woh bolti thi mai sunta tha

Jb se woh meri BIWI bani,
Hm dono bolte hai
or
muhalla sutna hai

Husband:
Bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aakhen di hai
chawal se pathar nhi nikal sakti?
WIFE: Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daat diye hai
2-4 pathar nhi chaba sakte?

Wife-kitna pyar karte ho hame.
Husband-shahjhan jitna.
Wife-mere marne ke bad taj mahal banaoge.
Hsbnd-me plot bhi le chuka hu
pagli der to tu kar rahi he.

wife 2 husband-mujhe kahi mehngi jagah ghumane le chalo.
husband-chalo tayaar ho jao.
petrol pump chalte hain..

Patni- Shadi K Pehle Aap Roz Gift Dete The, Par Ab Nai Dete, Kyu?
Pati- Tune Kabhi Kisi Machware
Ko Machli Pakdne K Baad Use Dana Dalte Dekha Hai

Wife: Dekhi na wo aadmi mujhe ghur ghur ke dekh raha hai.
Husband: Arre wo to bhangar wala ( scrap dealer ) hai, Bekar MAAL par nazar rakhana uski addat hai...........

Wife pati se boli-Dekho G Kaam karte Waqt mere ko Kiss-Wiss na kiya karo.
Tabhi Kaamwali Boli-Maidam achi Tarah se Samjha do, Mai to bol-bol ke Thak Gayi

Wife: Bus karo rat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho or subai k 8 ho gaye,
Thake nahi ?Husband: abhi to kuchh nahi kia ab to din raat karunga kyu ki..
5000 MSG free hai.

bivi k thappad marne k bad pati bola Admi use hi marta h jise vo pyar karta h.
bivi ne bhi 2khich k mari or boli-Ap kya samjte h mai apse pyar nahi karti.

Husband - aj kuch aisi bat batao jisase dil khush bhi ho jaye aur jal bhi jaye
Wife- tumhare sare dosto me sabse acha kiss karane ka style tumhara hai

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby's father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe!

A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral : BE SPECIFIC

Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.

Possible Reasons When A Man Opens a car door for wife
1) The Car Is New.
2) The Wife Is New
3) (Most Imp) She Is Not His Wife

Wife 2 Husband: Did u Have any GF before marriage ?
Husband remains silent ?
Wife: what is D meaning of silence?
Husband: Wait.. let me count...

Wife: Our new neighbour always kisses his wife when he goesto work, why don't you do that? Husband: How can I? I don't even know her.

True bravery is 2 arrive home.....fully drunk......a latenight out.....& wife waiting with a jhadu and u ask: Hey abhitak safai kar rahi ho?

A white couple gets a black child.
Angry husband asks- You white, Me white. Why is baby black?
Wife- You hot, Me hot. Baby burnt!

It is said that Husband is the head of D family,
But
Remember that wife is D Neck of D family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly D way she wants.



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