Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!

Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge

Madam to Student : Last Semester you were roaming
with that girl and this semester you are roaming with other.
What you think of yourself?
Boy : Syllabus changed mam.

Santa is raping a girl. Girl shouting,
Santa : Chillao yahan se tumhari awaz bahar nahi ja sakti,
Girl : Mujhe yakin nahi aata,
Santa : Theek hai mein yahan chillata hun tum bahar jaake suno aawaz aati hai ya nahi?

On first night after marriage
Wife : Mujhe ghabrahat ho rahi hai.
Husband : I thinK because this is your first night.
Wife : No, no.. Actually it is first time in night…

After legalizing gay’s relations in india
The question tailors are asking to male customers while stitching trousers…
“Sir, Zip aage lagau ya peeche?

Height Of Embarrasment :
Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
“Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.

Medical science proved ki
Kapre tight pehnney se Blood Circulation ruk jati hai.
But
Larkiyon ke kapre jitne tight ho,
Larko ke blood circulation utni tez hoti hai!!

Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.
Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!
Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena

Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet.
All ladies suddenly stand up
Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai,
Baitho Baitho…:)

Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.

Ek 99 year ka aadmi Swarg ki raunak aur sunder apsarao ko dekhke bola : “Ye Baba Ramdevv ke chakkar me na pada hota to yaha 30 saal pehle aa gaya hota”.

Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!

Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!

Ek baar ek terrorist ne ek budhiya ke ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye – Budhiya bomb hai, Budhiya bomb hai.
Budhiya sarmakar boli : Dhatt teri, wo to mein jawani me thi!!!

Doctor to Female : Kya aap delivery ke time baache ke pita ko
apne paas dekhna chahenge?
Female : Nahi, unhe mere pati pasand nahi karte!!!