jito- kya koi aisa tarika hai jishse hotel k staff ko na pata lage ki hmari nayi-2 shadi hue hai..
santa- haan hai, ye dono luggage tm uthao..

santa- maine tmhara number kayi bar milaya pr hr bar switch off aa raha tha..
banta- aree ye to mera phone ka hello tune hai...

banta- suna hai budhapa buri bimari hai..
santa- haan yaar! kaal ishe bimari se 6 bache maar gaye..

interviewer- tmne apni pichli job kyu chodi?
santa- kyuki company kahi chod k chali gaye aur mujhe bataya hi nhi...

banta - kya tmhari gaddi sahi halat mai hai.
santa- bilkul! horn ko chod kr baki sari chije shor krti hai.

santa- tujhe apna laptop bada krwana hai?
banta- haan yaar.
santa- to phir ishme window hatwa k darwaja install krwa le..

banta- apko thand lagti hai to ap kya krte ho?
santa- mai heater k pas baith jata hu..
banta- agar phir bhi thand lage to?
santa- to heater on kr leta hu..

santa- cricket khel kr aya.
banta- kitna run banaye..
santa- centure hone mai 99 runs baki the aur mai out ho gaya.
banta- aree yaar! so close....

santa police station aya aur bola - mujhe arrest kr lo, maine apni patni k sirr pr danda mara hai.
police- kya wo maar gayi?
santa- nhi wo bach gaye,ab meri khair nhi..

santa- apne ush ladki k liye cigaret aur sharab chod di?
banta- haan..
santa- to ushse shaddi kyu nhi ki?
banta- kyuki mai itna sudhar gaya tha ki ushse bhi achi ladki mil gayi..

santa- doctor mujhe aisa lagta hai jaise koi mere kaan mai gunguna raha hai..
doctor- aisa kab lagta hai?
santa- jab mai kaan mai headphone laga kr gane sunta hu..

santa- thnda loge ya garam?
guest- dono le aao..
santa jeeto se- ek glass freezer se aur ek geezer se pani le aao..

banta- hmare desh mai death rate kya hai?
santa- 100%.
banta- kaise?
santa- jo paida hota hao wo maar hi jata hai..

santa- meri patni ka credit card chori ho gaya hai.
banta- kya apne ishk bare mai bank ko inform kiya?
santa- maine ishki jarurat nhi samjhi kyuki chor ushse utha credit nhi lega jitna meri patni leti hai.

banta- haar pati k liye patni ka hona jaruri kyu hai?
santa- kyuki wo hr kaam k liye sakar ko dosi nhi thehra sakta..

banta- ap apni biwi ko hero ka haar dene k bajaye koi car gift mai kyu nhi de dete?
santa- aise car kaha se le kr aaunga jo ho to nakti pr ho bilkul asli jaise?

santa roti ka ek tukda khud kha raha tha aur dusara murgi ko khila raha tha..
bant- ye kya kr rahe ho?
santa- chicken k sath roti kha raha hu navratri chal raha hai na..

:: New Jokes on Santa banta ::

santa(airhostess se)- apka face meri biwi se milta hai.
air hostess- ne jor se thappad santa k face pe mara.
santa- kamal hai, adat bhi wahi hai..

santa- ki patni maar gayi..
dost ushko chup krane k baad- tujhe kuch chahiye?
santa- jaldi laptop le aao.
dost- kyu?
santa- facebook pe status change kr k single krna hai.

banta- mera ghoda abhi to thik chalta hai pr kabhi langda kr..
doctor santa -aaj kaal wo kaise chal raha hai?
banta- langda k.
doctor santa- to meri maano jab wo thik chalne lage to baich dena ..

banta- hm jo natak karenge ushme darsako ko kalpana krni padegi ki pehla part garden mai dusara part saloon mai.
santa- 3rd part mai hme kalpna krni padegi ki theater mai darsak hai..

santa- yaar mai prblm mai phas gaya hu?
banta- wo kaise?
santa- biwi makeup kare to kharch bardas nhi hota aur na kare to biwi bardas nhi hoti..



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