Santa: My wife is a magician.
Banta: Why?
Santa: She made my dinner disappear into a cloud of smoke. || latest new jokes santa banta ||

Lalu Yadav to protest in parliament for nominating 'Barfi' to Oscars, when they had 'Rabri' as a better option!

Pappu: Papa, what do I give my girlfriend as a gift?
Santa: How does she look?
Pappu: She looks very sweet and pretty.
Santa: Give her my number.

Santa: I stayed up all night.
Banta: What was wrong?
Santa: I was trying to remember if I have amnesia or insomnia.

Jeeto: Why are you home so early?
Santa: My boss told me to "Go to Hell"!

Positive thinking poem.....
"Little bird in the sky...
Dropping poty in ur eye...
U don't worry, u don't cry...
U just thank god that elephants can't fly..."

Every wife is like "terms and conditions" of a website.
The husbands never understand or read what she says but they all always accept.

Banta: What is an adult joke?
Santa: Any joke which is 18 years old.

Santa to barber, "How much for a haircut?"
Barber: Rs. 50/-
Santa : How much for a shave?
Barber: Rs. 25/-
Santa : Good. Shave my head.

Santa: Wives are like police.
Banta: Why?
Santa: Once they get hold of all the evidence, they still want to hear the truth from you!

Santa Ek Baar Park Mein Beth Ker Gaana Ga Raha Tha“ Aaj Mein Upar Aasma Niche
Uske Paas Ek Aadmi Betha Tha UsAadmi Ne Santa Ka Gaana Sun Kar Santa Ko Bahut Maara
.
Kyon ???
,
,
Kyon Ki Aasma Us Aadmi Ki Beti Ka Naam Tha.

Santa was buying the movie tickets again and again.
Banta: Why are you buying the movie tickets again and again?
Santa: Some fool is standing near the door and tearing my tickets.

Santa: yar coffee jaldi pee
Thandi ho jayega....?
Banta: itna jaldi Q..?
Santa: are bebakuf
Menu card padha nehi
Hot coffee Rs.20/-
Cold coffee Rs.40/-

Exam me teacher ne nakal karne di aur kaha bahar jake
na kehna ki meine nakal karai hai.
Santa : Na jee na hum kahenge sir to bahut kamina tha,
kutte ne seat se hilne bhi nahi diya!

Santa - oye item kya haal hai tera?
.
.
.
girl- jo teri behen ka hai..
.
.
.
.
.
.
santa- achha matlab ki tu bhi pregnent hai

Santa KHUDKUSHI par bhashan de rha tha
.
Khudkushi Paap hai
Zulm hai
Gunah hai
Pagalpan hai
.
.
Khudkushi karne se behtar to
insan khud ko Goli mar le

Santa: Yar mein bada pareshan hoon
Banta: Kya hua?
Santa: Meri Wife mujhe roz thumbs up pila deti hai
Banta: Ye to achhi bat hai
Santa: Nahin pilane k bad kehti hai chalo aaj kuchh toffani karte hain

Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se apna kaan khujla raha tha.
.
Santa use gaur se dekhte hue bola-
Santa - Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka lagau.

Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?
.
Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
.
Teacher: Kya matlab?
.
Golu: Ji wo
CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai.

Lazy Boy To Father: papa ek glass paani de do, .
Father: khud uth k pe lo, .
Boy: please de do na……! .
Father: ab manga to thappar
marunga .
.
.
Boy: thappar marne aao to pani lete aana

Bf on call- Hey Swtheart Kya Kr Rahi Ho. . ?
.
.
.
Gf Meri Tabiyat Kharaab H Janu,
Sone Ja Rahi Hu or
Tum . ? .
.
Bf- Me Cinema Hall Me Tere Piche Baitha hu
KAMINI . .

Aurangazeb: Senapati batao ki
hum Shivaji ko kyu nahi dhund pa rahe hain??
Senapati: kyoki Maharaj ham Mugal hai Google Nahi

Delivery ke waqt
Lady- God Ladka
Man- God Ladki
God- Shut Up
Dont Confuse Me
Varna aisa confuse item bana dunga ke
tum dono roage or wo tali bajayegae!

Ek raat bijli chali gayi,
Sardar: oye kam se kam fan to chalao.
Sardani: kar di na sardaron wali baat fan on karenge to candle bujh jayegi.

Santa : Badda dukh hoya si teri wife di mout ki khabar sunker, wase hoya ki si?
Banta : Goli lagi si matthe vich.
Santa : Shukar rabb da ankh bach gai

Santa and banta jungle mein, saamne aayaa sher…
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki, aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko bhi bhaagne ko kahaa.
Santa : Main kyun bhaagu, matthi to tune phenki hai.

santa- mai shimla ja raha hu.raste mai biwi ko gira dunga.
banta- meri bhi le jao,use bhi gira dena.
santa- agar bura na mane to use wapasi mai gira du?

santa ne padha'bill gates k microsoft ne skype 4.5crore mai kharidi'..
santa- internet se free mai to download hota hai, faltu mai paise diye..



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