ek admi ne waiter ko 100rs tip diye
waiter-ap k liye mai roj shaam ko kone wali table reserve rakhunga
admi-maine tmhe ishliye tip di hai jab bhi mai apni patni k satha au to tm kehna table khali nhi hai,to mai use kisi saste se hotel mai le jaunga

pati patni ek bhed bahre bus mai ja rahe the
pati ek ladki pass jakar saat k khada ho gaya,yeh dekh kr patni ko jalan hue..
achanak ush ladi ne ek chata mara,aur kaha lo maja ek ladki to chikoti katne ki'
pati ne patni ko safaye dete hue kaha maine chikoti nhi kati..
patni muskura k bolo -mujhe pata hai,kyuki maine kiya tha yeh sab....

techr ne chote bache se pucha"bhagwan kaha hai"?
ek bache ne bola mujhe pata hai..
techr-batao
bacha-bathroom mai.
techr-ek pal k liye chup thi....phir boli tmhe kaise pata?
bacha-roj subah jab papa uthte hai.bathroom ka darwaja knock krte hue kehte hai ."Hey Bhagwan!tm ab tak andar hi ho...

ek pati apni patni ko yeh keh kr chidata tha- 3 bacho ki amma
patni ko bahut gussa ata tha
ek din jaise hi pati ne bola 3 bacho ki amma
patni ne turant jwab diya bolo- 2 bacho k papa..

ek kuwe ki manyata thi ki sikka dal kr mano kamna puri ho jati thi..
ek pati patni waha gaye
pati ne sikka dala aur kuwe k pass se haat gaya..
patni gaye aur woh kuwe pass juki sikka dalne k liye aur gir gaye ..
pati thodi der sant tha aur bhi bola-- itni jaldi ye to chamatkar hai.....

ek admi ko cncer hua tha
ek din ushk beta ne pucha-papa apko cancer hai phir bhi ap logo se keh rahe hai ki apko Aids hai..
pita ne jwab diya-taki mere marne k baad koi tmhari mummy ko chune ki himmat na kare...

ek admi apni patni ka antimsanshkar kr k ghar aa raha tha
tahi jor se bijli kadki,badal garje or jor se barish hue

dukhi admi ne apne sath chal rhe logo se kaha-- lagta hai pahuch gaye..

patni-apne pati ki kabr pe pankha kr rahi thi..
ek admi ne bola-behan ji ab ishpe pankha kr k kya fayda
patni-hmare yaha ek rule hai jab tak pati ki kabr sukh nhi jati,tab tak patni ki dusari shadi nhi ho sakti...

patni 1/2 hr se phone pekisi se baat kr rahi thi,ushne call cut kr diya..
pati-aaj tmne bahut jaldi call cut kr diya..

patni-wrong no tha ishliye

3 sharabi apas mai baat kr rahe the ki kaun apni bivi kitna control mai rakhta hai..
unme se 3 chup tha?
2no ne puch kya hua?
3 bola kaal hi meri bivi ghutno k baal mere pass aye..
2no ne kaha shabas!!!
3- aur mujhe boli agar mard ho to bed k niche se niklo....

ek admi ki nye nye shadi hue,phir bhi sham mai use ghr jane ki koi jaldi nahi rehti,woh der tak office mai hi rehta tha

boss ne pucha kya baat hai

ushne ne bataya ki meri bivi bhi job krti hai,aur jo ghar jaldi jata hai khana bhi usi ko banana padeta hai

admi shadi kyu krta hai?
marne k baad woh swarg mai jaye to acha feel kare ,aur nark mai jaye to apne ghar jaisa feel kare....

chor-tmhare pass jo kuch bhi hai fata fat de do.

admi-bhai,aisa maat karo,agar mai khali hath gaya to meri bivi mujhe khacha chaba jayegi..

chor-agar mai khali pahucha to kya meri bivi mujhe taal k khayegi....??

pati- hipnotis kya hota hai?
patni-kisiko apne control mai kr k apne marji ka kaam krwana.
pati-chal jhuti!!!! use to shaadi kehte hai..

Jitne Channel TV Ke,
Utne Nakhre BIWI Ke,
.
.
.
.
TV Chalta REMOTE Se Aur
BIWI Chalti note ( money) Se.

Patni – “Chalo ek khel khelte hain ..
mai chhupti hoon aur tum mujhe dhoondhna ..
.
.
Agar tumne dhoondh liya to mai tumhaare saath
shopping karne chaloongi .. !”
Pati – Aur agar nahi dhoondh paya toh ?
Patni – “aisa mat kaho Jaanu.. mai bas darwaje ke
peechhe hee chhupoongi.. !!!

Pati: aji suna? Videshon me talaak lena bahut hi aasan hai.
Patni : pata hai tabhi to vaha ladakiyan shadi ke samay roti nahi hain.

Wife to her husband: I love you!
I can't live without you!
Mar Jaungi!
Mit Jaungi!
Jehar Pee Luongi!
Tere Pyaar Mein Fanna Ho Jaungi!
Husband: Dekh Le Jaise Tujhe Theek Lage!

Pati agar maine tumse zindagi me
kabhi jhooth bola ho 2 mai abhi mar jau.
Patni: mne bhi kbhi aap se jhth bla ho
2 mi abhi vidhva ho jau.

Chae ki patti (tea)
aur pati (husband)
me kya similarity hai?
.
Dono k naseeb me jalna aur ubalna
likha ha & woh b
aurat k hathon.

Husbend-talak lena hai,
Advocate- talak lane ke lie 50000 rs lagenge,
Husband- pagal ho kya, pandit ne to 501 rs,
me shadi karayi thi,
Advocate-dekh liya na saste ka natija.

Hazaro aarzu aisi ke har aarzu pe dum nikle,
Koi meri biwi se kahe ke shopping pe kam nikle.

pati-kyu na aj ki chaye bahar pi jaye?
patni-kyo?tmhe kya lagta hai mai chaye banate -2 thak gye hu?
pati- nahi ,pr mai plate aur cup dhote dhote tang aa gaya hu..

shadi ki mauk pr dulha dulhan ki mang sindur bharne laga to
ek bola -yaar, ye rashm agar ulati ho jani chahiye ,yani dunhan dulhe ki mang mai sindur bhare.
dusara bola-agar aisa hua to duniya k sare takle kuware hi reh jayenge

pati- maine aj ek sapna dekha?
patni-kya?
pati-ki tm kise se pyar kr rahi ho.
patni-kya tmne use pehchana?
pati-nhi pehchan paya,kyuki mai raat mai bina chasma k hi so gaya tha.

do mahila ki swarg mai mulakat hue..
1st-tmhari maut kaise hue?
2nd-jyada thand lagne k karan, aur tmhari?
1st-High BP k karan,mujhe pata chal ki mera pati kisi dusari aurat k sath hai..
mai gaye aur ushko sab jagah dunda pr woh nhi mili

2nd-agr freez mai dhunda hota to ,hm dono jinda hoti..

pati prawachan sun k aya aur patni ko godd mai utha liya
patni-guruji ne kya rommance krne ko kaha hai kya?
pati-nhi pagli unhone kaha hai apka dukh khud uthana chahiye.

pati-mai apni biwi ko B.A phir M.A phir Ph.d karwaunga...
ushko ek achi se job dilwaunga..

frnd-phir koi acha sa ladka dhundh kr ushki shaadi bhi krwa dena..

1st frnd-mai agle month 3 shaddi kar rahi hu?
2nd frnd-kyu??tmhare 2 patyo ka kya hua??
1st frnd-pehla bhagwan ko pyara ho gaya,aur dusara padosan ko pyara ho gaya...

pati-raja dashrath ki 3 patni thi..
patni-to?
pati-to mai abhi 2 shaddi aur k sakta hu..
patni-soch lo....!!!!draupati k 5 pati the....

ek ghar mai pati patni k hasne ki bahut jyada awaz aa rahi thi
sare padosi unki khushhali ka raj janne k liye unk ghar gye.
pati ne padosiyo ko btaya ki bahut assan hai...
hmare yaha meri bivi mujhe belan,chimta phek kr marti hai,
agar mujhe lag jata hai to woh hasti hai nhi to mai hasta hu..

Know your woman’s type : –

1. Windows Woman - kisi kaam k nhi hoti pr ishk bina gujara bhi nhi hota..

2. Hard-Disk Woman - yeh sab kuch hmesa yaad rakhti hai..

3. RAM Woman –muhh ferte hai apk bare mai sab kuch bhul jati hai..

5. INTERNET Woman – Difficult to access

6. E-mail Woman – ishki kahi 10 baato mai 8 baaten bina matlab k hote hai

7. Virus Woman – ishko "wife" bhi kehte hai,ishki bare mai jab tak ap jante hai,tab tak yeh apk system ka band baja chuki hoti hai..

patni-tmhe nhi lagta jara si samjhdari se talak k mamle roke ja sakte hai
pati- tmhe nhi lagta jara se samjhdari se shaddi bhi roki ja sakti hai.

facebook