santa- ro raha tha!
banta- tm kyu ro rahe ho?
santa- meri murgi maar gayi hai..
banta- itna to mai apne baap k marne pe bhi nhi roya tha.
santa- tmhara baap kaunsa andde deta tha..

santa- sir ji, aap apni patni ko party mai kyu nhi late?
boss- wo gao ki hai..
santa- maaf krna, mujhe laga wo sirf apki hai..

santa- mai teri roj roj ki shopping se tang aa gaya hu, ishliye marne ja raha hu.
jeeto- acha ek safed suit to la do, bhog pr kya pehnungi?

Santa:-Agar "Teri "Bivi Ko "Bhootni Lipat Jaye, To Tu Kaya Karega?
Banta:-Mujhe "Kaya Karna!
Ye Do "Behno" Ka" Aapsi"Mamla"Hai.

punjabi badi majedar language hai kyuki..
ek chote se bache ko nanga dek kr santa pe pucha-
"oye aj teri maa ne kacchi ni payi.."

santa ki patni ka raang kala tha ushne ek din yellow saree pahen kr santa se pucha- mai kaise lag rahi hu?
santa- sadk jawa, jaise koyale ki khan mai aag lag gaye ho..

Santa: I am going ka matlab batao.
Banta: Main ja raha hoon
Santa: Main nahi jane dunga, pehle matlab bata.

nurse- mubarak ho santa ji, ap papa ban gaye.
santa- meri patni ko nhi bolna mai use surprise dunga...

santa aur banta kabristan mai baithe baaten kr rahe the..
santa- dekho ye murde kitne aram se apni kabro mai soye hue hai.
sare murde uthe aur bole- kyu na soye, ye jagah hmne apni jaan de kr hasil ki hai..

teacher- ushne sucide kr li aur use sucide krne padi, ishme difrnc batao?
santa- pehla padha likha berojgar tha, dusara married tha..

santa- tmhari gf ka sms aya hai, ' koi pathar na mare mere diwane ko'.
banta- acha sms mai aur kya likha hai?
santa- 21st centure hai bomb se uda do sale ko..

bhikari- sahab 20 rs do na coffee pine hai..
santa- lakin coffee to 10rs ki aati hai?
bhikari- meri girlfrnd bhi sath mai hai na.
santa- aree bhikari hok tune gf banaye hai..
bhikari- nhi, gf ne hi mujhe bhikari banaya hai..

teacher- jis hisab se apk beta k numbr ata hai use hisab se ek baat to mai yakin se keh sakta hu.
santa- kya?
teacher- wo cheating bilkul nhi krna hai..

banta purani album dekh raha tha.
banta- bebe, ye photo mai apk sath smart kaun hai?
bebe- ye tmhara bapu hai.
banta- to hm ish ganje k sath kyu rehte hai?

pathan ne apne bache ka naam america rakh liya, logo ne pucha ki wo to apna dusman hai phir bhi apne bache ka naam america rakha liya?
pathan- "hm duniya ko batana chahte hai ki pathan america ka baap hai.."

santa-kaal mere khwab mai ek ladki aye thi.wah kya ladki thi...
jito- akele aye hogi?
santa- tmhe kaise pata?
jito- ushka pati mere khwabo mai aya tha...

santa- phir wahi tamatar ki sabji?sayad tmhe nhi malum jyada tamatar khane se admi agle janam mai gadha banta hai..
jeeto- ye baat to tmhe pichle janam mai sochni chahiye thi..

jeeto- kyu ji? apne bola tha ki bina wajah k nhi piyoge! pr ab kyu pi rahe ho?
santa- diwali aa rahi hai na, rocket chodne k liye bottle to chahiye..

banta- agar tmhari patni tmhe bahar job dhundhne k liye bheje tm kya karoge?
santa- to mai nhi patni khojne lag jaunga..

santa- tm itni gulabi kyu lag rahi ho?
prito- apki pyari baato ko sunkar bechain ho jati hu aur wah mere dil ko chukar romantic ban jati hai.aur mai apko hug krne n liye bechain ho jati hu,ishliye mai gulabi ho jati hu..
moral- ladki ko koi sawal na hi pucho to acha hai..

santa- doctor sahab, koi lambi umar ka tarika bataeye?
doctor- shaddi kr lo..
santa- kya ishse umar lambi ho jayegi?
doctor- nhi, ye tamanna khatam ho jayegi..

banta- mere kutte se maat daro! tmne wo kahawat nhi suni hai"bhaukne wale kutte kabhi nhi katte"
santa- mai to janta hu, tm jante ho, pr ye kutta nhi janta hai.

banta- tm salary wale din ghar ja kr apni patni ko kitne paise dete ho?
santa- kuch nhi.
banta- ye kaise ho sakta hai?
santa- wo mujhe office k bahar milti hai, aur wahi sare paise le leti hai..

banta- dawa aur daru mai kya fark hai?
santa- dawa premika ki tarah hai jo expire date k sath aati hai, daru wife ki tarah hai, jitni purani hogi utni sir chad k bolegi..

santa ne challenge kiya ki wo kutub minar sir pr rakh kr mumbai le jayega..
sare news wale waha pahuch gaye..
tab santa bola- bas koi utha k sir pr rakh de..



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